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Partitions Of The Mind

I keep saying that time has moved differently for me since I stopped practicing clinically. Things that happened just brief weeks ago seem to have faded much faster in my memory than before.

My waking hours and productivity have both become divorced from day and night, and even sleep has become elastic to the point that I am still now awake, turning things in my head.

It was an eventful week that we are ending today.

I received news that one of the projects, which I took great pains to draft a paper for, has been accepted with full funding and it will need to move this financial year (FY). My team is down by 3 men and yet we're still pulling equal if not more weight. The Boss is back on Monday from a business trip abroad that I hope has brought back some new insights for us. There are a series of important meetings coming up in the next few weeks that will determine the course we take for the next few years. I have been tasked to shepherd some of us through a learning journey in two weeks. I need to make alliances with three other branches of us so that we can share resources that we have never considered sharing. OMG. This is only for May and early June.

I will have a lot more to do in the next few months.

There's thankfully a special talent that all doctors develop in the course of our training. The very handy ability to partition our minds. So on the one hand I recognise that I'm palpitating away with excitement and feeling a little overwhelmed, and on the other hand, I'm perfectly outside of those feelings and understand why/how it is that I feel that way.

There are of course a few more partitions here and there, that have other parts of life, in my head. The trick is being able to use one or more at a time judiciously, without the descent into madness and disorientation. So if anyone's ever wondered how doctors can cut people while caring for them, this is the answer. We do care, but believe me, when we need to work on you, you really don't want sentiment giving us the shakes.

To Know Malaysia Is To Love Malaysia

This was the most popular song of 1986 and used as the theme song for the national tourism drive.

I remember it for different reasons.

The singer - whose short tragic life predicted that of the country he clearly loved.

The time - that I was still a believing innocent child, so proud of my country.

The lyrics - sung in that particularly tender way that still has the power to bring me to tears.

The loss - and knowing that it will never be like that ever again.

 

More loot, in response to more 2012 developments

1. Lovely white quilted Jaime Mascaro's with navy tips and low block heels.

2. Valiserie, Chantelle, and Calvin Klein smalls.

3. The most unexpected thing. Amazingly fitted and soft and durable-looking Trussardi Jeans cardigan.

2012 is off to a fiery start. January flew by without pause, and we're knee-deep in February already. I've lost 2kg and intend to at least stay that way, although lack of sleep always tends to put fat around my middle.

From late Spring this year until at least the terminus of 2013, my world is going to be hellfire. I can't really tell you why, but work has taken a brand new twist that includes politics, backstabbing, and scheming (how very TVB!), and home life has taken on a few more complexities. I have also started a couple of personal projects.

In such times, I would do well to accept what comes, and remember the advice that Mom gave me, about life as a woman: "This is the time to run at full speed. You will have husband and children to contend with, and you will be chasing career breaks that will make you. Give it your all. It is the best time to get what  you want. You are mature enough by then, but young enough to have the energy."

Welcome, 2012 - and hot on your heels, the Dragon

Belatedly, I need to relate my December activities before I start 2012.

As I had previously indicated, Hubby and I took Bean to Tokyo mid-December 2011. It was a great trip. We took a day to fly in, and a day to fly back out, technically-speaking, and so we had 4 full days in Tokyo. I'll do a proper descriptive on this soon.

At any rate, work was both full-on and full-stop near the end of December, as many people were on leave (as usual) but there were still deadlines to fulfill. Luckily for me, I have a great team above and below, and so things got done, albeit with a little bit of shoving.

We spent Christmas weekend with Hubby's parents and my little brother. There was a lot of food, and presents. Bean received a doll house, her 1st Sylvanian family, a Hello Kitty bag-making kit, and a WaWaYaYa, among other things.

For New Year's Eve, Hubby and I decided to do a 2-man degustation menu for both sets of parents, and all siblings. We were a table of 10 (minus one little brother who was at MBS livin' it large), and fed everyone til they could not move. The menu? It was ambitious, but just had to be done:

FIRST COURSE: Oysters on the half-shell, and a trio of salmon: salmon caviar and japanese butter-cream-cheese blinis, manuka-smoked salmon dressed with dill + balsamic + olive oil, salmon crusted with cracked black pepper. "Man Mountain" cold sake to go with.

SECOND COURSE: Cool japanese ham (from Tsukiji market) with nagaimo tororo + crispy-fried garlic, seared kurobuta bacon (from Tsukiji again) with sweet orange reduction. A crisp Reisling to go with.

THIRD COURSE: Boston lobster tails stir-fried with ginger + scallions + dark soy, a rich soup-broth with abalone + dried scallops. Finished off the Reisling.

FOURTH COURSE: Milk-and-dashi tamago to go with pan-seared foie gras + "secret" sauce. Opened the full-bodied Brunello that Dad bought.

FIFTH COURSE: Pan-fried Angus 200-day aged ribeye + bearnaise sauce, braised choysum. Finished off the red.

SIXTH COURSE: Liver sausage-flavoured claypot sushi rice

DESSERTS: Panna cotta tropicale, chocolate-chipped pavlova

We rang in 2012 with silly party hats (crowns) and party-poppers, while watching the festivities and fireworks at the Bay area.

......and in 3 weeks, we'll do it all again, to ring in the fiercest year in the chinese zodiac - the Year of the Dragon! (tempered by Water this year)

 

Friends, At The End of 2011

Thought of 2 old acquaintances in passing earlier today. One of them because I saw a Youtube video about my homeland that made my heart ache. The other because I was reminded of that friend.

Lo and behold. A series of photographs on Facebook just this evening. Both of them. And one more who is a colleague.

Just now, as I was driving Hubby to work (yes, at 11:30pm), I thought of the women I know as friends. The ones whom I truly understand, and whom I think understand a greater part of me than most can. Some because of shared experiences, and some because of common experiences.

There are a few with whom I hardly speak. I have not seen them in years. There are some I see very regularly. No matter how interspersed the intervals between meetings, there is always a sense of kinship. The sort of bond that no one can describe except to call it "friendship".

There are also some people I always think of at the end of the year. These are the ones that I will regret not having time for, or the courage to keep in my life, but I do so knowingly, and understand what must be paid.

Jeremy Renner

This man reminds me so much of someone I know.

Jap-Six

Hubs and I are finally getting a holiday. Our first one un-entangled with work stuff. Since our honeymoon. Ye gads, it's been a while.

Of course, Bean is coming along. She's a crucial member of the family, and a holiday wouldn't be "proper" without her.

We're going to spend six days in Tokyo in December.

Since Bean is a good little 3.5-year-old, we'll be spending a day at Disneyland, and at least another half-day at the Sanrio Puraland. Hubby was joking that he should just bring a pink wardrobe to match the girls.

Jokes aside, because of the fluctuant nature of the household ironing, I've packed.

In essence the bulk of my stuff is from *drumroll* - UNIQLO. Yeah, guess what. They make good stuff. And I'm adding a bit of sauce with three pairs of rock-sensible jeans. One pair from Aussie shop SportGirl which I've had for AGES, with a bronze phoenix running down one leg. The second pair from Cheap Monday - black and drainpipe with corset-laces running its length from hip to ankle. The third pair - most recently acquired - from Pull & Bear.....a dark blue distressed skintight pair slung low with two double-large riveted buttons. Shoes? One pair of flats with good soles, and one pair of booties - black and again, a little bit rock n' roll.

The topper is my cashmere-blend dark moss-green Aquascutum coat which has to have been the best thing I've ever bought from Harrods. To go with it, splashes of ochre and hot pink in the shape of cami's, tanks, and a large pashmina from our Bangalore adventure.

I will most likely be rockin' diamonds and silver. Or faux both. Would like to finish the look with a bright matt pink lip, but I haven't got one of those. Maybe it's time to spend those Bodyshop vouchers.

The only "ugh" point right now is my half-up half-down hair, which looks ridiculous in an Elvis quiff, too old if left limp, and too severe when sharply side-parted as I usually do for nights out. Perhaps the broad leather hairband should come along......with feline eyes. Hmm. That could be it.

Hubs has his Sinatra hat and overcoat. And under those, he'll likely be in a sweater, a polo tee, and jeans.

Bean will be in sweet dresses, baby tights, warm shoes, a zip-up jumper/hoodie, and her pale pink quilted Burberry coat. She has her own mittens, which she is awfully proud of, as she loves the nursey tale of the three kittens who lost their mittens. I can't wait to see her all bundled up in layers of pink pink pink......eeee.......

Nicki Minaj f. Rihanna - Fly

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
to fly
to fly

I wish today it would rain all day
maybe that will kinda make the pain go away
trying to forgive you for abandoning me
praying but I think I’m still an angel away
angel away, yeah strange in a way
maybe that is why I chase strangers away
they got their guns out aiming at me
but I become near when they're aiming at me
me, me, me against them
me against enemies, me against friends
somehow they both seem to become one
A sea full of sharks and they all smell blood
they start coming and I start rising
must be surprising, I’m just surmising
win, thrive, soar, higher, higher, higher
more fire

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
to fly
to fly

Everybody wanna try to box me in
suffocating everytime it locks me in
paint they own pictures than they crop me in
but I will remain where the top begins
cause I am not a word, I am not a line
I am not a girl that can ever be defined
I am not fly, I am levitation
I represent an entire generation
I hear the criticism loud and clear
that is how I know that the time is near
so we become alive in a time of fear
and I aint got no muthaf-cking time to spare
cry my eyes out for days upon days
such a heavy burden placed upon me
but when you go hard your nays become yays
Yankee Stadium with Jayz and Kanye

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
to fly
to fly

Get ready for it
get ready for it
get ready for it
I came to win
get ready for it
get ready for it
I came to win

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
to fly
to fly

Completely In Disarray

I am so disturbed right now. It's so not-funny that it's actually f'g hilarious.

The Masters programme which I applied to wrote back saying that I was over-qualified to participate, and recommended that I take their higher-tiered programme instead.

I am SERIOUSLY disturbed. It's sort of like being slapped in the face in the most flattering way. I'm not sure how I feel right now.

Goddammit this is going to throw a major spanner in the works.

I had expected that getting into the programme was going to be smooth, because I had paved it as well as I could muster. This is a curveball indeed. I've overshot the mark completely.

Gosh, some days I don't know whether I'm coming or going......

Steve Jobs, we mourn you

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded.

-  Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.

-  William James