Sunday. D-Day! The bridal party had risen much earlier and gathered at my aunt's house (we used it for Diana's "Chuet Muun" - "Exit Door" - since her own home is in, erm, Kobe).
The Fetching of the Bride ("Tzhong Muun" - literally "Bash Door") is an age-old tradition in which the groom and his groomsmen ("heng dai" = "brothers") have to pass a set of trials set by the bride's "sisters" ("jee mui") that test their manhood and allows each a chance to show off his abilities. It's akin to storming the keep to fetch away the prize of the day (the bride). Indirectly it was also traditionally a great time for parents to size up eligible young men and women for their sons and daughters.
The jee mui had been ready with their tricks at 0800H, and the groom's party arrived at 0830H. The bridal car first, followed by three or four cars driven by the heng tai (with Diana's japanese family within, since they had to be fetched from the city centre beforehand), with horns blaring from the end of the street. This was also traditional as the making of much noise signaled a happy event as well as chasing away fretful spirits.
The japanese guests were ushered into the house, and then the games began! The heng tai were stopped at the main gate, and made to perform some wordplay. The scholars amongst them wowwed the crowd and the jee mui managed to obtain the first of their angpows (yes, the groom also has to pay a "bribe" to the jee mui to pass through).
They next used the main lounge to test the boys' dancing and singing (Westlife, argh). Then they were in the courtyard, where the boys had to perform some physical tasks. The kicker at the end was really fun. The groom was singled out, a Rambo-style bandanna tied around his forehead, and then asked to break two boards - a 1-inch and a 2-inch. This was specifically because my brother is a mid-rank blackbelt in taekwondo, and his flying fists have met far more than a 2-inch piece of plywood.
A punch and a chop later, and the groom was at the door of the bride's hideaway room. His last task was to free the key to the room - frozen in a block of ice - with only his mouth. He crunched through the ice, and with the key at last, entered the bride's room.
She was seated at the window, already veiled by her parents as is the custom (this section is the last parting gift from a girl's parents to her before she is wed) who were standing behind her. He lifted the blusher veil and kissed her gently after handing her the bouquet (brought in by the heng tai as a symbolic gift). Then he asked his final permission from her parents to marry her (at this point, Diana's mother teared) and Diana's father nodded. It sounds simple but is actually a very meaningful and sometimes heartrending part of a chinese wedding because it is at that point in time that the bride's parents truly feel that they have finally "given away" their daughter, in hand to a man who will hopefully cherish her as they have. Then the bridal couple paid their respects to the bride's parents, and begin the car-ride to the groom's family home. On the way out, the bride was shielded by her father, holding a red umbrella, from door to car - a last parting gesture of his fatherly protection.
The rest of us (as part of the groom's family) were already anxiously awaiting their arrival. Mom and my aunts had prepared refreshments, and the traditional roast pig was waiting in the kitchen. The rest of the family, including Bean and the grandparents, were already in place. As the bridal party left at the other end, the heng tai telephoned Dad to alert him.
As they approached, they sounded the car horns again. Everyone was excited. My brother's wedding would be the first one in our generation which observed the customs in their entirety. As they alighted, the groom's family hid away, for none of us were supposed to face the bride and groom in their arrival and walk (shod all the way) up to their marital room. This symbolically meant that none of us would ever block their path from anything, and that the bride was a welcome addition to the family. During this walk, even the doors must all be left open, and all the lights switched on.
My brother and Diana safely reached their room, and the door closed. Usually at this point, the couple would change into traditional chinese clothes (the ornate red beaded top and skirt called "kua" for her, a dark mandarin collared men's dress for him) but they opted to stay in their morning attire (a suit for him, the white wedding dress for her). We welcomed our guests, then the tea ceremonies began.
Again, a small departure from the traditional. Usually the groom's family had theirs, then the wedding party would return to the bride's home to perform the same for her family, but since they were foreign, we did both at the folks' place. Usually upon returning to the bride's home, she is then welcomed as a guest, now no longer a daughter of the house, but a wife and daughter in her husband's family.
Hubby and I left after Bean paid her respects (yes, even the tiniest member of the family must obey this custom) to her new aunt and my brother (her uncle). Bean was tired and grouchy, and yelling for a quiet place to sleep. Meanwhile, the wedding party had lunch and roast pork.
At 1530H, we drove from Ascott over to Sunway Lagoon Hotel where the wedding banquet was to be held. Poppy and I had hair and makeup scheduled for 1600H so that we could head down to reception early to help. She was in a jewel-green bias-cut gown done in a fetching 1930s silhouette, and I opted for a strapless amethyst gown reminiscent of Lanvin's Spring/Summer '08 pieces (but with less volume). They gave us both big hair. For her a loose beehive with a neat upturn at the nape, and for me, a bombed-out version of a 1950s 'do, which went surprisingly well with the pearls I chose to wear.
We left Bean upstairs while we did some lastminute prep. The two mums turned up at 1700H for their hair/makeup and Diana started hers at 1730H.
Guests began to arrive at 1815H and it was all systems go from then. I brought Bean down for a short while to mingle, then back up again. She was dressed in a little red frock with a blowsy leopard-print flower at the waist, and matching patterned soft-shoes.
The food has always been good at the Westlake restaurant, which is why it was chosen. Aside from the fact that it was also done up in a very chinese dynastic decor, the layout was friendly. We heard my father first. Then the best man spoke, and we ended with the bridal couple giving two halves of their speech: Diana first, in english and japanese (she brought a tear to her brother's eye), then the bro in english AND japanese. He had been very nervous about getting the pronunciation right in thanking his new japanese family but methinks it went down well.
We made the three traditional toasts with loud shouts of "yam seng!" (loosely translateable as "drink to your maturity"). The first was for the wedding itself, and that it came to be. The second was for life together "til you both are snowy-haired". The third was for the promise of healthy happy children.
Dinner concluded with the folks (both sides) and the bridal couple going round to take photos with each table of guests. The rest of us carried on drinking and merrymaking. Even after the last distinguished guest had been thanked and left, the cousins were still hungry for more entertainment, so they took Diana's japanese cousins down to the Ministry of Sound to continue the partying.
I later found out from my brother that it was happy chaos. Diana's family was esteemed and studious, with no less than 11 doctors. Because of their upbringing, these were not pink-haired punks from Harajuku, but diligent medics who had never seen the inside of a discotheque. It was an awakening. Luckily Diana's elder cousins were also there, and helped to carry the semi-conscious but giggling young ones back to the hotel.
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